"The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around."

"The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever."

"I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there."

"Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angles to San Francisco live there?"

"The trouble with Oakland is that when you get there, it's there."

"All American cars are basically Chevrolets."

"No problem is too small or too trivial if we can really do something about it."

"Flowers are words even a baby can understand."

"General principles should not be based on exceptional cases."

"People who have given us their complete confidence believe that they have a right to ours. The inference is false, a gift confers no rights."

"Men are qualified for civil liberty in exact proportion to their disposition to put moral chains upon their own appetites."

"The way to fight a woman is with your hat. Grab it and run."